Knowing the inner workings of the House of Windsor as well as the Spin does, it's fair to say that the England management weren't able to be too choosy about the time and place of their appointment with Liz. And, yes, it is a touch harsh to blame Paul Collingwood for the fact that he beat Steven Gerrard to membership of the British Empire (the only three letters Collingwood might have expected after his name when he was picked for the Oval were l, b and w). But on the eve of a crucial series, England could really have done without another bout of post-Ashes glorification.

When it comes to sport, the English have always been fantastic losers, mainly because they had so much practice. But they are also abysmal winners. This isn't necessarily aimed at the players. You can hardly blame them for accepting letters after their name when Terry Wogan and Bob Geldof have been happy enough to do so. But it says a lotabout English society (and let's be honest: this is English society we're talking about here, not Scottish, Welsh or Northern Irish) that we feel the need to cover our successful sportsmen with so much glory that they can hardly breathe.